2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #24: Our Gun Obsession.

If anyone thinks that there isn't anything more horrifying in 2012 than our growing gun obsession, I'd like to know.  To be honest, I had an entire essay I was going to write on this subject for my final entry into my 2012 Horror Advent Calendar (I have A LOT to say about the subject.) …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #23: Six Rapid Fire Horrors.

I missed a few days there so I wasn't able to vent about a lot of things I would have liked to.  So here's me trying to play catch up in a rapid fire way.  Enjoy some quick little hits on some more of 2012's horrors. Single Cup Coffee Makers. Sure they seem great, but …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #22: Tyler Perry’s Attempted Image Change.

  Anyone see this? Yeah, didn't think so.  That was Tyler Perry's attempt at becoming an action hero. But wait, what about this? Most of you just furrowed your brow and didn't even realize that was a movie.  But yes, it was.  It was his attempt at becoming a leading romantic man.  See, his last …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #21: End of the World Predictions.

Look around you.  The world is still here.  The Earth is still moving.  We're all still alive. Stupid Mayans.  Turns out they didn't know shit. Well, what do you expect from a people that couldn't even predict their OWN demise, let alone everyone else's.  But hey, before we all start printing those "12/21/2012 my ASS!" …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – Returning Tomorrow. An Explanation.

Sorry, but I had to take that week off. There are a few things that are truly horrific beyond words, and the shooting at Sandy Hook might top the list.  Having a 1st grader and 4th grader myself, this atrocity hit home with me.  In fact, I was helping at my daughter's school, doing cooking …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – On hiatus.

The 2012 Horror Advent Calendar is on hiatus for the time being due to the true face of horror revealing itself in Connecticut yesterday.  There are many things I want to say right now, but the words just... won't come. My absolute heart and soul are with those affected.  Even though I am not much …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #14: Birthdays on Facebook.

  Again, as with most of my posts, before you judge, let me get to my angle.  You'll see the hidden horror.  At the very end of this post, you'll see why this is on my mind right now. First off, I love getting Facebook messages on my birthday.  Who doesn't?  It's an amazing feeling. …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #13: Benefit Concerts.

You're probably thinking, what???  How in the HELL is a benefit concert horrifying?!  They do so much good!  Yes.  They do.  They really do.  That is most DEFINITELY not up for debate.  But for me, they're also a mixed bag of emotions.  And one of these emotions is horror.  Bear with me on this one …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #12: Gangnam Style.

Okay, I get it.  It's a catchy song.  It's a catchy dance.  It's a fun little diversion.  But is it really deserving of the most viewed YouTube video of all time?  Think about that one. Of...  All...  Time... Now here is where the mental flexing needs to begin.  How did this odd little number explode …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #11: The Stomach Flu.

Yes, my apologies for putting this post up a day late, but well, I was completely down for the count yesterday.  It was an utterly awful experience of the most incredible proportions.  I will save you from the grisly details, but let's just say, writing a blog post just wasn't in the cards. And yet, …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #10: Electronic “Art”.

  You've more than likely seen this new trend of electronic "art" somewhere.  Lately, it seems to be popping up pretty much everywhere you look.  Even the focus of one of the new Windows 8 ads (seen above) focuses directly on it.  And man, do I hate it.  To me, this is one of my …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #9: Chris Brown… Again.

  Sometimes on rare occasion a horror is so awful that it actually requires two day of tirades.  Yes, today I'm listing Chris Brown again as one of the truest horrors of 2012. Continuing my thoughts from yesterday, let me add this...  Anyone who beats his girlfriend, is utterly non-apologetic about it, and then tattoos her …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #8: Chris Brown Exists.

  He beats women. Do I need to go on?  Okay, I will...  He's a complete misogynist.  He has zero respect for anyone but himself.  He's a walking timebomb.  He's a complete goddamn prick in every way imaginable.  Basically, this waste of space is one giant piece of human shit. And yet, it shows that …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #7: Fifty Shades of Grey.

Sigh... where to start?  First, can someone just please explain to me how this book became such a phenomenon?  How is this book different from every other porn book out there?  I mean, people DO know that it was originally written as Twilight fan fiction, right?  The main characters were originally Bella and Edward for …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #6: Kay Jeweler Commercials.

Okay, there's a reason why every year I choose a few ad campaigns that I find horrifying for this list.  I mean hell, I do this whole Horror Advent Calendar thing during the month of December.  This is the time when we're completely inundated with ads telling us to buy, buy, BUY!  And as always, …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #5: Plastic Surgery on the Rise.

I've been reading a lot of reports lately about how 2012 is showing the largest rise in plastic surgery than ever before, much of it facial reconstruction. I cannot explain how horrifying this is to me. Screw all this talk about self esteem issues, etc, have you seen these people??? Wait, let me rephrase that. …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #4: Rising Use of Cell Phones in Bathrooms.

  Okay, here's one that's been around for a few years now, but it seems that in 2012 we've seen a massive uptick.  In fact, it's become so commonplace now that people hardly even think about how disgusting it even is anymore.  The "shame" behind it has gone away and people now just talk about …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #3: Groupon.

Many of the horrific choices in my year-end Horror Advent Calendars start out initially as things I love.  But like the greatest of horror movies, these things always take a horrible turn and change into something awful.  Groupon is a perfect example.  Groupon (and other sites like Livingsocial, Plum District, Bloomspot, etc) has literally exploded …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #2: The Hostess Frenzy.

  Okay look.  I understand nostalgia.  I do.  In fact, I love nostalgia way more than most.  But this whole Hostess frenzy about the “loss of the Twinkie” is downright ridiculous.  There are so many angles I could talk about when it comes to this story, but let’s just try to sum up using a …

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – Day #1: Honey Boo Boo.

I'll keep it short and sweet today, because honestly she doesn't deserve any more attention. And all you people watching her "show"? STOP IT. It's like enabling a drug addict by clapping every time he does heroin.

The Horror Advent Calendar is BACK! 2012 Style.

  After the usual November break, recovering from Halloween, we're back.  Yes, that's right... The Horror Advent Calendar is BACK. It's the final month of 2012 and what better way to end it than by looking back at some of the most horrifying people, events, situations, whatever.  Basically is gives me a place to vent …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #24: Year End Lists About Horrifying Things.

Here it is.  The final day of the Horror Advent Calendar.  The Climax.  The twist.  The ultimate reveal. And guess what, not everything is as it seems.  I knew what I was doing here.  You've all played into my plan perfectly.  Don't you see?  You were all my victims the entire time!  Bwahahaha! I write …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #23: Angry Birds.

Yep, you heard me.  Angry Birds. But, wait!  How can you actually call our beloved Angry Birds something horrifying?  How on Earth can you besmirch the beloved finger-pleaser that is Angry Birds?  But... Wait... This... Stop... You just... YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! Oh, but I can.  I've had enough of these little bastards.  They're turning …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #22: The Film Industry’s Lack of Imagination.

This, to me personally, might be the single most horrifying trend of 2011. Lately, everyone is talking about the decline of the movie industry.  There aren't as many viewers heading to the multiplexes.  There aren't as many DVD sales.  There just doesn't seem to be as much interest.  People in my industry are FREAKING out. …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #21: Carmageddon.

I couldn't talk about the horrifying events of 2011 without mentioning--*insert booming voice here*--CARMAGEDDON!!!  Or as others called it, CARPOCALYPSE!!!  Or as I ended up calling it, "the single most pleasant weekend in the history of Los Angeles." Obviously this one was personal because I live in LA, but I know for a fact that …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #20: New Words Added in 2011.

As a writer who actually loves words, sometimes I get a little ornery when they release the Merriam-Webster and Oxford English Dictionary's list of added words for the year.  I'm pretty much the furthest thing in the world from pretentious--I write slasher films for God's sake--but still this just makes me sad.  I solemnly shake …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #19: “Self” Santas.

  The continuing effort toward the complete and utter domination of selfishness continues.  Sure, you see it in politics all the time, and the workplace, and definitely wall street, and well, pretty much everywhere.  So why should it shock me that it's now seeping into what is supposed to be the most selfLESS and giving …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #18: Justin Bieber Exists.

The true face of horror. Enough said.

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #17: The Return of “Mom” Jeans.

Sigh...  Mom Jeans.  Or what American Apparel calls them, "High-Waist Jeans" or "Easy Jeans."  Whatever you call them, I call them vomitously awful.  And yes, I had to make up the word, "vomitously" for this.  Such garbage deserves a word. Seriously, have you seen these things?  They are true horror in fashion form.  And yes, …

2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #16: The “Learning” Channel

Okay, here's some true horror for you...  TLC actually stands for the The Learning Channel.  Haha.  Yeah, right... TLC stands for "The Learning Channel" about as much as Fox News is "fair and balanced."  Look, I don't care what your political learnings are, I really don't, but we can ALL agree that there is nothing …