2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #16: The “Learning” Channel


Okay, here’s some true horror for you…  TLC actually stands for the The Learning Channel.  Haha.  Yeah, right…

TLC stands for “The Learning Channel” about as much as Fox News is “fair and balanced.”  Look, I don’t care what your political learnings are, I really don’t, but we can ALL agree that there is nothing “fair and balanced” about Fox News.  And I’m pretty sure we can also all agree that there is ZERO learning on “The Learning Channel”… that is, unless you want to “learn” how to producer script out and write segments dealing with idiotic people that have 18 kids.

Let’s just take a look at what “learning” is currently taking place on The LEARNING Channel, shall we?

Toddlers & Tiaras.  Do I honestly have to even go on from here?  I guess here we’re “learning” how to abuse our daughters and make sure that they have eating disorders by age 6.
Long Island Medium.  Sigh, really?  Here we’re “learning” that shows that feature people with annoying accents are big right now, so they threw one on.
Sister Wives.  For my Utah folks.  Here we’re “learning” how to show authorities where this polygamist family lives so they can keep being busted and have to move repeatedly.
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.  Yep, that’s important to learn about.  Here we’re “learning” that gypsies can be just as big of monsters as other reality shows dealing with weddings.
Extreme Couponing.  A show… about coupons.  Dear LORD.  I guess on the surface we’re “learning” how to save money, but these people are buying CASES of stuff for no reason only because it looks good for TV.  Just ridiculous.
What Not to Wear.  A show hosted by pretentious know it all assholes telling people how they should dress.  I guess in this one we are “learning” how to be a judgmental dick.

And the list goes on… and on… and on… and ON!!!

I didn’t even get to the COUNTLESS shows about people having a million kids.  Remember John and Kate Plus 8?  Yeah, that’s healthy.  This channel introduced us to the nightmare that is Kate Gosselin.  That right there should be enough to shut it down.  And then there’s 19 Kids and Counting, Table for 12.  Yes, we are definitely “learning” how to ruin our children’s’ lives by furthering our own proliferation egos.  Holy shit, I’m getting so pissed right now.

Look, this channel actually started as A LEARNING CHANNEL.  You actually learned stuff.  Then, guess what, ratings probably weren’t what they wanted so they decided to fill it with shit.  Because shit sells.  Now, all it’s teaching us is how to be an asshole, how to be a freak that eats weird things, lives in filth, or just pierces shit everywhere.  It’s truly horrific, and this channel needs to be stopped.  Let’s be honest, there is no learning here.  There is only ruining.  So please, join a campaign with me to rename this channel The Ruining Channel.  Because that’s all its doing… ruining people’s lives, and ruining viewers brains.

Screw you, “Learning” channel.

And don’t smile “History” Channel.  You’re next.


One thought on “2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #16: The “Learning” Channel

  1. OK. I see your point. But those people look just so happy after the “what not to wear” people make them dress in the right length jacket for their height. I learned that I should not wear sweatpants. Valuable.

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