2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #24: Our Gun Obsession.


If anyone thinks that there isn’t anything more horrifying in 2012 than our growing gun obsession, I’d like to know.  To be honest, I had an entire essay I was going to write on this subject for my final entry into my 2012 Horror Advent Calendar (I have A LOT to say about the subject.)  But as I sat down to write, I paused.  The realization hit that words are becoming fruitless at this point.  Whining, complaining, feeling helpless, it’s all bullshit.  Everything has been said.  People know where they stand.  People can either accept or ignore the facts, depending on which position they already hold.  It’s what always happens.  We’re going in circles.

But finally, I finally think we’ve hit the tipping point.  Enough words.  It’s time for action.  Look for a cause.  Send your politicians a letter, or a phone call, or email.  Anything.  Actually make your voice heard.  Personally, I would suggest a donation to the Brady Campaign.  They are one of the best, if not the best, organizations on the subject.


And yes, since I already suggested you donate to the Brady Campaign, I guess I tipped my hat to my position.  So before I go, I will add at least a few more of my words to the mix.  I won’t write the entire essay I had planned, but I’d be chagrinned if I didn’t at least weigh in a little bit.  Some of it may surprise you.

First, I do not hold the opinion that all guns should be banned.  I personally don’t think most rational human beings hold this thought either.  It’s FAR too late for that, and to be honest it doesn’t make sense either.  Guns do actually have a place in our society.  That may not be the most PC thing to say at this time, but it’s true.  Hunting will always be a part of our culture.  Self-protection will always be a part of culture.  Skill and target shooting even has a place in our culture.  Essentially what I’m saying is that there are aspects of our life where guns belong.

BUT… things have gotten out of hand.

I think even the most fervent gun-nuts can acknowledge this.  Even if they won’t say it publicly.  There are things that need to be done as far as licenses, training, mental health screening, putting assault rifles back where they belong — with the Military, and definitely trimming politicians who are paid huge amounts of money by lobbyists to completely ignore anything and everything dealing with all of the above.  But the specifics of these ideas are the things that have people talking in circles.  I won’t continue that trend now because it won’t do any of us any good.  I’ll let you do your own thinking.  I only ask that you actually do that — think.  Don’t just spout words.  Don’t just act on others’ ideologies.  Think.  And create your own personal opinions.

Oh, and the NRA?  Sigh…  Why do you have to be so stupid?  You actually could be a decent organization with a decent cause.  But  much like PETA, you just go too far and completely divide people.  Why do these organizations have to go completely overboard instead of actually acting sane?  Is sanity now a sign of weakness?  So your solution is to arm every school?  Really?  That’s like putting out a fire… with more fire.  Dammit, you numbskulls actually had an opportunity here to do some good.  To change your image.  To be the solution instead of the problem.  But you blew it.  Although, this is further proof of my initial horror in the first place.  We, as a culture, have an insane obsession with guns.  And it’s going to be difficult to change.

But we CAN change it.

It IS the time to talk about it.

We don’t have to live in a constant whirlwind of gun-related horrors.

For my final horror entry, I wanted to point out how our insane gun culture seems to have indeed peaked in 2012.  It is horrifying and hopeless.  Hey, that’s the point of horror.  But, I’m going to actually try and end this on a hopeful note.  I firmly believe that 2013 will bring a little more sanity into the mix.  People are talking.  People are acting.  While 2012 may have been the downhill slope, maybe 2013 is where we change course.  Even though I mainly focus on horror, I’m actually looking forward to some hope.

Well, that’s it.  The end.  I hope you enjoyed my 2012 Horror Advent Calendar everyone.  If you want a refresher on any of the other days that you may have missed, here’s the master link (or just click the link up above.)


It’s been an interesting little journey, as always.  Agree, disagree, I honestly don’t care.  Hopefully I at least made some of you think.

Happy holidays everyone.  See you in 2013!

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #23: Six Rapid Fire Horrors.

I missed a few days there so I wasn’t able to vent about a lot of things I would have liked to.  So here’s me trying to play catch up in a rapid fire way.  Enjoy some quick little hits on some more of 2012’s horrors.

Single Cup Coffee Makers.


Sure they seem great, but admit it, they’re far from perfect.  The cups are still kind of expensive.  They don’t make a large enough cup of coffee.  But mainly, the biggest horror is that they’re quickly approaching disposable diapers as one of the largest products taking over our landfills.  They’re becoming an environmental disaster.


Lance Armstrong.



There’s a couple different horrors here.  First, yes, it’s horrible that this guy turned out to be a douchebag.  Not only did he cheat, but the fact that he forced his other teammates to cheat too is pretty crappy.  But the other horrific thing is that people can’t see that this guy STILL did what no other human could.  If every other human in the world doped the same way he did, he’d STILL dominate everyone.  Regardless of douchebaggery, he should not be dismissed so easily.  He was still one of a kind.


No Doubt’s Comeback.



They tried.  They didn’t.


Westboro Baptist Church.



These people honest are the worst of the worst.  I wanted to give them an entire day, let alone an entire month.  But I didn’t want to even give them that much credit.  They’re awful.  They’re bottom of the barrel.  And they’re the worst representation of what a “church” can be.  BTW, bless the hackers “Anonymous” for taking them down right now.  They deserve the Hell they preach.


Nonstop 2012 Political Ads.



The vitriol just really ramped up this year.  It went from already awful, to downright abysmal, and honestly it got so bad, it almost seemed otherworldly.  I still can’t believe what politics in this country has become.  THAT is horror.


Recording every single aspect of life on Facebook.


I know I’ve already written about Facebook, but this one bears mention.  Please people.  I beg you.  Try and treat Facebook more like a highlight reel, and not as a minute-by-minute broadcast of your life.  Trust me, NO one cares that much about any single person.  No one.


2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #22: Tyler Perry’s Attempted Image Change.



Anyone see this?

Yeah, didn’t think so.  That was Tyler Perry’s attempt at becoming an action hero.

But wait, what about this?

Tyler Perry Good Deeds Review - Movie Poster

Most of you just furrowed your brow and didn’t even realize that was a movie.  But yes, it was.  It was his attempt at becoming a leading romantic man.  See, his last name is Deeds.  And he’s good.  See how that works?  Sigh…

Nope.  Sorry, Tyler Perry.  Nobody bought your 2012 attempts at becoming a normal leading man.  I guess you’ll have to continue using racial stereotypes to play to the lowest common denominator.  Makeup and ignorance gags have made you one of the richest men in entertainment.  Why stop now?


Sorry, but to me, that is the true face of horror.

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #21: End of the World Predictions.


Look around you.  The world is still here.  The Earth is still moving.  We’re all still alive.

Stupid Mayans.  Turns out they didn’t know shit.

Well, what do you expect from a people that couldn’t even predict their OWN demise, let alone everyone else’s.  But hey, before we all start printing those “12/21/2012 my ASS!” t-shirts, let’s give the Mayans a break.  They certainly aren’t alone in being wrong predicting the end of the world.  History is littered with failed doomsday predictions.  Idiots come out of the woodwork and say they know when, how, and why the world is going to end.  But for some reason, in 2012 it seems like we’ve had an uptick of these crazies.  I’m sure a lot of it had to do with the Mayan calendar, but it also has to do a lot with the state of our world right now.  There’s a lot of paranoia out there.  Most of the time it’s built around some kind of ridiculous religious prophecy.  And by religious prophecy, that usually means a cash grab by a self-proclaimed man of God preying on the weak-minded looking for answers (*see Harold Camping or Ron Weinland.)  And yes, you heard me right.  I said weak-minded.  Sorry, but if you think the end of the world can be predicted by just some guy (or culture), then you are not the sharpest tool in the shed.  But the interesting thing is that all this can have an effect.  And in a way, it could help bring on the actual end of the world.  And this is what’s horrifying to me.

Everything that has a beginning, has an end.  Yes, the world will end.  It just will.  Sorry.  But that’s a fact of life.  Life ends.  But what’s scary to me is that all this doomsday frenzy that is exponentially building up, will start to have an effect on the end of the world.  All this “man-made” doomsday talk will build.  Eventually, enough people will drink the kool-aid.  Paranoia will build.  It will all be self-made, but it doesn’t matter anymore.  The machine has started and there’s no stopping it.  A large enough mass of paranoid people will look for leaders to represent them.  They will start to elect paranoid politicians.  Enough paranoid politicians get elected and suddenly you have a paranoid government.  This paranoid government will make other governments paranoid about their actions.  Suddenly, you have a lot of paranoid governments worldwide that will create and throw around accusations.  Do I really need to continue?  A paranoid world who thinks they’re threatened WILL take matters into their own hands.  And before you know it… yes, all this paranoia WILL cause the end of the world.

Not because the Mayans said so.  Not because a so-called religious leader predicted it.

Because we made it happen.

So chill out on the paranoia and the doomsday talk everybody.  The world will end when it’s supposed to end.  There’s no stopping it.  Once you realize that, it makes things a lot easier.  The world is already a difficult place, so let’s just try to just enjoy the ride.  Don’t cause any more worry, stress, and danger than we already have.

Oh, and screw you Mayans.  Thanks for causing a bunch of idiots to start ruining things for the rest of us.

2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – Returning Tomorrow. An Explanation.

Sorry, but I had to take that week off.

There are a few things that are truly horrific beyond words, and the shooting at Sandy Hook might top the list.  Having a 1st grader and 4th grader myself, this atrocity hit home with me.  In fact, I was helping at my daughter’s school, doing cooking demonstrations for over 90 smiling, beaming students, when I heard news of the shooting from a fellow parent.  After I heard the news, I looked out the window, saw all the 1st grade children playing, frolicking, and just being kids out on the playground… and I almost lost it.  The gravity of it all just hit me like a ton of bricks.  Being a so-called “scary horror writer” went completely out the window, and all I really wanted to do was find my daughters, hug them as tight as I could, and weep.  But then almost immediately, this sadness and depression at a world gone mad switched.  I turned angry.  Really fucking angry.  Angry at the shooter.  Angry at the system.  Angry at the press.  Angry at all the gun-worshipping shitheads.  Angry at humanity.  Basically, just angry at the entire world.  And I just had to step back.  I know these emotions were shared by most everyone in the country, but that didn’t make them any easier to deal with.  There’s no other way to put it.  I had to just…  step back.

But after reflecting and wallowing for a week, I’ve decided to return to my silly little Horror Advent Calendar.  I needed a little levity back in my life.  So starting tomorrow for the last few days before Christmas, I’m going to do my best to showcase a few more entries into my little countdown.  Now, I fully acknowledge that these “horrors” are trivial and definitely for entertainment value only, but sometimes these trivial things can help get through the day.  Whether it’s for catharsis, an escape, or simply a few minutes of hiatus from normal life, hopefully I can help.

And with what’s going on in the country right now, we all need all the help we can get.


The 2012 Horror Advent Calendar is on hiatus for the time being due to the true face of horror revealing itself in Connecticut yesterday.  There are many things I want to say right now, but the words just… won’t come.

My absolute heart and soul are with those affected.  Even though I am not much of a religious man, I will pray for you in my own way.

As a nation we need to mourn.  We need to search.  And we need to learn.

There is truly nothing more horrific than this.