2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #7: Fifty Shades of Grey.


Sigh… where to start?  First, can someone just please explain to me how this book became such a phenomenon?  How is this book different from every other porn book out there?  I mean, people DO know that it was originally written as Twilight fan fiction, right?  The main characters were originally Bella and Edward for crying out loud.  Is that why people like it?  They loved those books, but thought the simpleton scenario of those two needed to be amped a bit?  “Oh hey, I know, let’s take these pure, Mormon er, I mean, virgin characters from the Twilight books, but instead of being vampires, let’s make them complete pervy S&M enthusiasts!”  That’s essentially all these books are.  The same story with more deviant sex.  This is what’s so horrifying to me.  This is the first reason why this made my horror advent calendar.  No, not the sex.  Sex is great.  No, it’s that the biggest hits in the world are basically just blatant plagiarism of the other biggest hits already in the world.  People don’t want anything new.  They want copies.  And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why originality is dying.

The writing in these books is fine, but really not that great.  I flipped through a few pages to see what all the hubbub was about, and actually it felt kind of juvenile.  I know I write horror movies for a living so that sounds like the pot calling the kettle black, but I still know good writing when I see it.  And if something reaches a fervent level of insanity that these books did, they should have a quality that no other books seem to have.  And I’m sorry, but these books don’t.  The main character’s name is Anastasia Steele for crying out loud.  I mean really?  So my search continues to why these are still so popular.

Could it be the explicit sex?  Hmm, that doesn’t seem right either.  There are COUNTLESS books that feature this kind of stuff, plus WAY worse.  But what’s really crazy to me is how explicit these books are, not necessarily in the sex department, but in the utter male domination department.  Holy crap.  I mean, do the women of the world really hate to be treated equal?  Is that what the huge reception to these books is telling us?  Women really just want to be dominated?  They secretly all want to be beaten and treated horribly in the bedroom?  Call me crazy, but with some of the dumber humans in our society, I have a feeling this is going to cause some issues.  I really won’t elaborate on that, but you can imagine what I’m talking about.

Anyway, to wrap up, Fifty Shades of Grey is just a horrifying thing to me for many reasons.  It shows that originality is dying, and that people don’t seem to want it anyway.  It shows that good writing isn’t something people seem to care about at all anymore.  And it shows that women secretly all just want to be dominated and beaten.

Oh, I didn’t even get to the fact that the author E.L. James made over 20 million dollars on these books in September alone, and rumored to make over 1.3 million a week(!) on sales.  That doesn’t even factor in the movie rights.  Yes, this unoriginal drivel has made the author upwards of 100 million dollars and growing.

Sigh.  I’m just… done.


One thought on “2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #7: Fifty Shades of Grey.

  1. My theory? It’s the cover art. Old ladies can check it out and it still looks classy. The sex and plot are both better in paranormal romances and they freaking have CLAWS. But they also have half-naked men on the front. It’s all marketing.

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