2012 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #2: The Hostess Frenzy.

1120-Hostess-lines-Twinkies.jpg_full_600

 

Okay look.  I understand nostalgia.  I do.  In fact, I love nostalgia way more than most.  But this whole Hostess frenzy about the “loss of the Twinkie” is downright ridiculous.  There are so many angles I could talk about when it comes to this story, but let’s just try to sum up using a few points.

– First, let me state the obvious.  If people loved the Twinkie so much, as well as other Hostess treats, why would they be going bankrupt in the first place?  Wouldn’t their sales be skyrocketing?  Look, obviously people have moved on from these outdated treats.  Personally, I think they’ve become second fiddle to much better concoctions everywhere.  Think about it.  If you’re craving a sweet treat, you know what’s better than a Twinkie?  Every single cupcake, doughnut, or pastry made by your local shops.  With the proliferation of local sweet shops that bake their goods daily, AND taste infinitely better than these mass produced, assembly line, confections, it’s kind of no brainer.  So everyone, stop complaining.  You have a million better options out there.

– Next, maybe, just maybe, this frenzy is ridiculous because people are *gasp* thinking a little healthier?  What’s wrong with a longer lifespan?  I remember as a kid, as do many others in my age bracket, getting a Hostess treat in my lunchbox every day.  It was nice.  But guess what, we knew A LOT less about nutrition back then.  Once we realized that we were making all our kids fat, and slowly taking years off their lives, we stemmed this practice.  How is that bad??

– For the next point, instead of talking personally about the political/financial situations around Hostess, I’ll just provide a few images that will present a few facts regarding the situation.  Remember people, these are facts.  Not opinions.  Facts.  Don’t politicize with me.  Just read the facts and draw your own conclusions.  The first image seems to sum up the abhorrent financial issue as succinctly and non bias as possible.  The second image may have a bit more of an edge to it, but these are still facts none the less.

Hostess BCTGMIU graphic2             542841_10151270438849805_2038195451_n

– Lastly, my final point may be the biggest reason that this Hostess frenzy is just ridiculous.  The Twinkie is not going away!  You know damn well that some other food company will purchase the recipes and continue to make all of these Hostess treats.  There have already been two bidders that have been reported in the news.  So for crying out loud people.  Cut it out.  Don’t clean out your local store.  Don’t wait in huge lines like an idiot (by the way, on a side note, that top picture I posted is from my hometown newspaper, The Standard Examiner in Ogden, UT.  Yes, those idiots in line are from my hometown.  And I wonder why I moved away?)

I literally saw a woman on the news bawling about the “death of the Twinkie” and how she feels so bad that our children will grow up without the Twinkie.  Bawling.  About a creation that has some ingredients in it that are also used in shampoo, sheet rock, and rocket fuel.  Yes… rocket fuel.  And she was bawling about it.

If you don’t find that horrifying, rethink what you call scary.

 

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