2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #17: The Return of “Mom” Jeans.

Mom Jean CUMom Jeans

Sigh…  Mom Jeans.  Or what American Apparel calls them, “High-Waist Jeans” or “Easy Jeans.”  Whatever you call them, I call them vomitously awful.  And yes, I had to make up the word, “vomitously” for this.  Such garbage deserves a word.

Seriously, have you seen these things?  They are true horror in fashion form.  And yes, in 2011 American Apparel has brought them back and… wait for it…  is selling them for $80.

This whole thing just makes no sense, so I think I know how this happened, and this is what makes it so horrifying.  This has to be a fashion trend created by, what I can only imagine as, disfigured mutants who work below the Earth as “fashion gurus” figuring out what makes the rest of us humans look so utterly awful so that they can feel slightly better about themselves.  This is the only explanation and it’s a frightening thought.  Just imagine those creatures in The Descent, only wearing fedoras, another trend they’ve been desperately trying to bring back.

Oh disfigured fashion mutants, you may have clouded the vision of most of the others, but you haven’t fooled me.  I know exactly what you’re trying to do.  But I’m already a step ahead of you.  Don’t think I already know that you’re going to try next…

…And Bellbottoms are not going to make a comeback, so don’t even try.


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