10/9/15 – OCTOBER HORROR MOVIE RECOMMENDATION #9 – Return of the Living Dead.

Return of the Living Dead

Return of the Living Dead is one of those crazy movies that every single horror fan I know has a story about. We all remember where we were when we first saw it. It’s kind of like this bizarre and twisted glue that bonds many of us together. My Return of the Living Dead story is a fun one. I grew up in northern Utah, aka Mormon-ville. For my 10th birthday, I wanted to have a bunch of my friends sleep over and watch a scary movie. I wanted Return of the Living Dead to be that scary movie. This was a risky choice where I lived because it was R-rated, so we had to ask all the parents of the kids if it was okay. Let’s just say it didn’t go over so well. How dare I even ask. Most of them said no, so there were only a paltry few of us that actually watched it. Yet those of us who did, were treated to a 10 year old’s idea of pure heaven. It was chock full of weird 80’s punk attitude; disgusting gore and slime galore; and so much amazing Linnea Quigley nudity. Oh, Linnea. Like I said… a 10 year old’s birthday perfection. Now, since many of you reading this may be horror novices, let me explain something. RETURN of the Living Dead is not to be confused with NIGHT of the Living Dead. Or Dawn. Or Day. Or City. RETURN of the Living Dead stands out from allllll of those in one very distinct way. Return is a comedy. A twisted horror comedy. And an amazingly twisted horror comedy at that. From the very opening moment where a disclaimer comes on screen that says, “The events portrayed in this film are all true. The names are real names of real people and real organizations”, you know you are in for something hilariously special. This movie still makes me laugh to this day. “Send more cops.” HA! (You’ll understand after you see it.) Anyway, it is so balls-out crazy and has such a playful attitude, it still feels like a gift to all 80’s horror comedy fanatics. The story plays on the fact that the events in Night of the Living Dead were actually real, and that the chemicals that made the dead come to life are actually stored in the basement of a medical supply store. Well, let’s just say some bumbling idiots release those chemicals, the rain disperses them across the neighboring cemetery, and the fun begins. But the rules have changed. You can’t just kill these dead by hitting their brains. In fact, you can’t take them out at all. They just keep coming. That’s part of the fun, but I don’t want to ruin it. Oh man, I could write 20 pages on this movie, but I’ll stop here. Let me just say that if you haven’t seen this film, DO IT, and prepare for 80’s punk awesomeness like you’ve never seen before. I absolutely love this movie.


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