NOTE: I’m out of town this weekend, so this longer “double Feature” post works for both days and will allow me ample Vegas time. Thank you.
Have you ever seen a movie where you honestly have no idea what you just watched? Something that defies logic so hard that it makes you seriously re-evaluate the last 90 minutes of your life? Something so oppressively in-your-face nutbar that it’s actually impossible to like, and yet… it’s impossible to hate either. These types of questions are only the tip of the iceberg when talking about both of these movies. Detention and John Dies in the End may honestly be two of the most insane movies I’ve ever seen. Even talking about them now hurts my head. Sharing this nuance, I decided to do a special “double feature” for them today. Neither of which are specifically horror movies, per se. They both have their horror moments, but they also play with numerous other genres including comedy, sci-fi, and fantasy. But if watching a movie that actually makes your brain throb isn’t horrifying, then what is? I’ll only briefly talk about each because it hurts my brain to discuss.
First, Detention. Holy hell, Detention. If you thought Scott Pilgrim moved a little slow for you, then Detention is right up your alley. This movie moves at such a frenetic pace that even cocaine users would tell it to slow down. Bouncing between every genre, I guess I could say it’s about a slasher villain (called Cinderhella) who’s killing people at a high school, and a group needs to figure out who it is… but more specifically, they (and us) need to figure out what the hell is just going on. And that I can’t share, because that’s the point. AS much as you don’t think you will, you will find out at the end, I promise. But it’s still utter madness. It’s DEFINITELY not for everyone. But you can not say there’s anything else like it. Oh, and there’s a time traveling bear. Don’t ask, just watch, and feel like everything else in the world is moving in slow motion.
Now, on to John Dies in the End. I saw this movie at Sundance and I felt like I was on drugs. I wasn’t on drugs, but I may have well been. That’s what this movie does to you. It’s based on a beloved book by the same name that many thought was “unfilmable.” Well, Don Coscarelli (director of Phantasm!!!) found a way to film the unfilmable. And yep, all that madness is intact. Wow, this movie is insane. Did I happen to mention that? This movie is the definition of the “everything and the kitchen sink.” It’s essentially about a new drug called Soy Sauce that allows the user to open other dimensions, other times, and much like the Matrix, show them what’s down the rabbit hole. This is just the starting point for 99 minutes of pure, unadulterated, psychosis. Bonus points for the awesome Paul Giamatti, one of my idols Clancy Brown, and of course the monster composed completely of frozen meats (an awesome effect btw). By the end, you’ll either be in awe of the filmmakers, or curled up in the fetal position. Either way, you won’t be bored.
Thus concludes this year’s “double feature” day. If you can survive both of these movies in the same night, well, something’s probably wrong with you. Seriously, get checked out.