2011 HORROR ADVENT CALENDAR – DAY #11: College Coaches.


Welcome to 2011’s new face of horror.

Again, it’s the weekend, so it’s another quick and easy pick so I can chill and watch football.  Ironic then, that the people that coached almost all of these players are my horrifying pick for today.  Honestly, are there more horrifically evil people out there right now?  Step aside Freddy, Jason, and Michael, college coaches are the new psychopaths in town.

Let’s take Jerry Sandusky.  I’m not going to obviously go into everything he did, but let’s just say that Sandusky’s shower room could give Freddy Krueger’s boiler room a run for its money in the terror department.  But it doesn’t stop there.  Sadly, ever since the Sandusky accusations, the flood gates have opened.  Countless other accusers have popped up at college school across the country.  It’s an epidemic, and starting to appear that coaching is the newest profession of choice for pedophiles and sex abusers everywhere.  Did all the Catholic priests from a few years back just turn in their collars for whistles?

It’s just all a terrifying situation right now and makes you think twice every time you see those neurotic coaches pacing the sidelines during the game.  I know everyone need to release stress, but can’t they just drink like the rest of us?  Next time you see a college coach, give him a bottle of Jack and tell him to just calm the hell down.  We don’t need any more Freddy Kruegers in the world.  Remember, Freddy started out as a pedophile as well.  If Sandusky is seen leaving a hardware store with some leather gloves and a set of knives, well, we could have an even more serious problem on our hands.


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