Okay, so trust me when I say that everything on here will relate to horror in some way. In this case, I’ll just flat out say it… we’re dealing with zombies here people. Not the good kind of flesh-eating, puss-dripping, rotting from every pore, zombies. But rather the mindless advertising zombies.
This is an advent calendar after all, so some of it had to actually be holiday related, and nothing to me is more terrifying, and infuriating, that this latest batch of rich douchebag Lexus commercials. Have you seen these? Where one rich douchebag gives another rich douchebag a car with a giant red bow on it that probably costs more than my entire holiday budget? They’re still pounding this into our heads, year after year. They’re on constantly, and for some reason they must think that every one of their target demographic is watching football, because i’m inundated with these ads at least 20 times a game, I swear.
But here’s why this year’s batch of ads in particular is terrifying. They basically figure that people are complete zombies to advertising. Why? Well, in past years these ads were all focused on just one richie giving another richie the car. But now they seem to think that because they’ve drilled these ads into our heads year after year, we somehow recognize their specific music they use? They think we’re such zombies to the campaign that their music is somehow as recognizable as Stairway to Heaven? In each ad now, the riches come up with equally superfluous ways of actually giving the gift, all hinging on this fact that we just LOVE their little jingle.
In one, some richies are playing Guitar Hero, and somehow he’s programmed the game to play the Lexus jingle. She recognizes it and flips out, knowing she has a new car waiting for her outside. Wait… what?
In another, a richie changes his wife’s cell phone ring to the jingle and then calls her on it. She hears it and flips out. Car outside. Huh?
And in another it’s an ornately created music box that one richie gives another. And when she turns the handle, it specifically plays the Lexus jingle and she flips out. Forget the craftsmanship of the box, I gots me a Lexus outside.
What the hell is going on!!!??? First of all, who are these programmers and craftsmen that are creating these things? A Guitar Hero song, really? A cell phone ring? A SPECIFICALLY MADE MUSIC BOX? Who do these advertisers honestly think we are?
They think we’re zombies. And maybe that’s what we are if we’re buying into this shit.
Until the next football game where I’m sure I’ll see 20 more of these ads, I’m going to go get my daughters hot wheels cars, put small red bows on them, and then systematically throw them all in the fireplace.